“I can get no satisfaction” are lyrics that everyone kinda jokes about, but if there’s one song that really explains the human condition, it’s that.
With the constant messages these days celebrating what society deems as “success” (riches! beauty! thinness! fame!); and with that comes messages that you need to be constantly chasing, pursuing and idolizing these things.
Here’s the thing though: Living a life of self-interest is a shallow, empty, and ultimately a miserable existence, because at the core of it; humans are never satisfied. Chasing wealth, health, fame, and physical perfection is a dead end street because if you are one of the rare few who do achieve it, you will find it’s never enough. You will always want more.
If there’s one thing I’ve personally learned in the last few years is that it’s not about you. Contrary to popular belief, you do not deserve a mansion, a hot spouse, riches, good looks or whatever else you want in your life. As Mark Twain once said, “…the world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
I have learnt that instead of chasing what I want, it is far better to just be thankful for what I have. Don’t get me wrong – in life we should pursue things. But we should be pursuing the right things. Self-interest is not one of them.
Gratitude Attitude – It’s more than just “thank you”
After writing my first article, It’s Time For A Beauty Revolution, I wondered how I could encourage young girls to ignore what the media says and not focus on their bodies so much – how could I shift their focus off what they wish they had – skinnier thighs, bigger breasts, etc – to be thankful for what they have?
And that was just it: gratitude. And because I love to rhyme, I called it having a “Gratitude Attitude”. Gratitude Attitude is putting a stop to wanting what you don’t have and focusing on what you do have. And while my “original” idea behind Gratitude Attitude was about body image, I realized that it could pretty much be for every aspect of your life.
And it’s more than just saying thank you all the time: it’s about awareness of what you are thankful for, a deep sense of thankfulness in your heart, and changing your outlook to match that. Check out this quick study on gratitude that Dr. Robert A. Emmons, which he wrote about in his book, Thanks!, carried out with 3 groups of people over 10 weeks:
- In Group 1, the participants were asked to write 5 things they were grateful for in the last week for each of the 10 weeks of the study.
- Group 2 were asked to do the same, except instead write down 5 things that annoyed them in the last week.
- The last group were asked to do the same, but were not told to focus on either positive or negative things… they were just asked to write what went on that week.
What was found at the end of the 10 weeks was that the first group felt 25% happier than when they started – they were more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did more exercise than the other 2 groups… and that’s only after a few weeks! Imagine if you could adopt it for longer, how much having a gratitude attitude would change your life?
There are plenty of instances were positive attitude changes the way you think and live your life, and I really believe gratitude does as well.
Think about it…
If you really think about it, wouldn’t you rather stop wishing you had X in your life, and just be happy with what you have instead? Isn’t pursuing a life of fame, fortune, social status, physical perfection, kinda… well, tiring? If there’s something we should be pursuing, it is having a Gratitude Attitude!
I encourage you today to take a moment to think about what you are chasing in your life that you know deep down isn’t fulfilling; or at the heart, will not ‘complete’ you. After identifying it, I want you to flip it to ‘gratitude’.
For example, instead of wishing you had slimmer arms, start being thankful you actually have arms. Some people are not fortunate enough to have arms. Or instead of thinking your small town is completely boring, be thankful you don’t live in a place where the treat of war and terror is very real everyday. Be thankful for your small town and try to make the most of it.
I truly believe that the world would be a better, happier place if we started to be thankful and happy with what we have. I think we should all aim to have a Gratitude Attitude.
What do you say?